February 2, 2002

Dick's hat band; Strom's carrier

Through A Glass Darkly, by John Myers, Internet Photojournalist

I got a call from Howard Baucom of Rockingham about a recent column on popular sayings -- which was an idea stolen from CNI Senior Editor Phil Hudgins -- concerning Dick's hat band, or to be more exact, just how tight was his hat band?

"So tight it busted," Baucom said was the answer his grandfather would always provide along with the saying.

Still no answer to just who Dick was, but Baucom opined that he may be apocryphal, like the famous Irishmen, Pat and Mike.

Which brings me to another old saying I can remember was a fond one of my grandmother's as well as my father's about Pat.

"That didn't last as long as Pat stayed in the Army," was a saying that usually described something of very short duration.

The answer to the question, "How long did Pat stay in the Army?" was, according to Baucom, "Not long enough to learn the rule." He adds that rule is singular, as in Pat didn't stay long enough to learn a single rule before the Army sent him home.

Baucom also passed along a couple more sayings also uncommon now, such as "Too dumb to carry guts to a bear," and "too dumb to pour pee out of a boot." I won't repeat the answer to the two questions, "How dumb would that be?" as they're more than a shade too crude for any family newspaper.

If anybody knows who Dick is, give me a call or send me an email, writeme@johnwmyers.com. Though I suspect he's like Pat and Mike, just a name from an old joke.

Another item in the news gave me pause concerning Strom Thurmond, the senior Senator from South Carolina. Come to think of it, I'm sure he's the senior of the entire U.S. Senate.

But though Strom is 99, he was still alive last I heard, which makes this story curious. It seems that folks in South Carolina have already begun a campaign to name a carrier for him.

U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson, R-S.C., is pushing a plan to name the next new U.S. Navy aircraft carrier the USS Thurmond.

''As someone who has known the senator for over 30 years and was on his staff, I can't think of any person more deserving of such an honor,'' said Wilson, the newest member of the House Armed Services Committee.

Thurmond, who retires from the Senate next year, is the ''perfect candidate, a decorated World War II hero who went into Normandy in a glider, (former) chairman of the Armed Services Committee. It would certainly be appropriate,'' said S.C. State Sen. John Courson, R-Columbia. Courson also led efforts to put a statue of Thurmond on the Statehouse grounds.

As I said, this is curious because ships aren't named for anyone living. And though the ship won't go into service until 2008, I wouldn't bet any money Strom won't still be around.

And there's one other problem, too. Thurmond himself was a sponsor of a resolution passed in 2000 that recommended that the Navy name its next carrier Lexington. That storied name was last used on the carrier that fought during World War II.

But if you believe in TV prophecy, it's already a done deal. In the nation's prime-time White House, ''West Wing,'' an aide to the fictional Democratic president has referred to a Navy battle group built around a just-launched carrier, the USS Thurmond.

And maybe it would be appropriate. The $5.1 billion carrier's design is strikingly different from current Nimitz-class carriers. Sharp angles are intended to cut the radar signature of the 98,235 ton, 1,092 feet long ship. Sort of like Strom, who certainly could be described as having sharp angles, but has weathered many political battles and never been shot down.